His Promise
by Ruby Rosetta Red
Summary: From the 'Her Boy'series. Set pre CI. Bobby comes home on his first leave and makes a decision that changes his life. Further chapters may follow. All errors are mine and not intentional. Thoughts appreciated Final Chapter Up..
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a story from the 'Her Boy' series and may have more than one chapter which is why it's a stand alone rather than another chapter to that fic. The characters of Robert Goren, Frank Goren belong to Dick Wolfe et al. The characters of Mary Tyler, Evie Tyler et al are mine. The Tyler family we've met in the 'Her Boy' series. This is set during Bobby's army days, prior to his Detective days. All errors are my own. I'd like to hear your thoughts. **

* * *

**His Promise:**

She promised him that she would write. She promised him that she would keep in contact with his mother. When the first letter arrived, he had been truly surprised. He hadn't expected her to keep her promises but as the time slid by and he grew reliant upon hearing from her, then he realised that she was a promises type of person; she made them, she kept them.

He looked forward to hearing from her and he would deliberately ignore the traitorous thump in his chest every time he received an envelope with a New York post mark. He devoured every word that she wrote and imagined her life so far away from him. She kept him up to date with his mother's progress and he was grateful for that. She was going to college in the city and when she wasn't available to look in on his mom, then her mom did instead.

He had to choke back the emotion when he saw the photograph she'd enclosed the first Christmas he spent away from home. It was of her and his mom. She had allowed Evie to put her arm around her shoulders and they were both looking into the camera lens. His mom regarded it without a smile, he could see the suspicion in her eyes; he recognised the torment but Evie's smile was beautiful and it warmed his own injured heart. He kept the photo close.

He wrote as often as he could, which if he was honest, wasn't nearly enough. She deserved so much more from him but he still clung onto a small shred of reserve. Instead he told her about the places he was stationed at; what he saw day to day and on occasion he would send her a small gift. He wanted her to know that he was grateful to her and this was the only way he knew how to express that.

The letters petered off after a while and that confused him and he wondered whether he'd inadvertently said something to her that made her withdraw. He racked his brain but came up empty. He told himself that she was moving on with her life; it was presumptuous of him to think that she would continue watching out for his mom or even think about him. She had a life of her own and she was perfectly entitled to live it how she saw fit.

* * *

His first leave home was an event he preferred not to think about voluntarily. He returned to the apartment block with some trepidation. He wore his uniform; a part of him wanted to try and impress his mother and hope that she cared enough to be proud of him. As he entered the building he couldn't help but think that if it were Frank in uniform then she'd be gushing to the neighbours about how proud she was. He swallowed and deliberately pushed the thought to one side.

He approached the door of the Tyler apartment and he paused. He was tempted to knock and reintroduce himself but he paused in the process of doing so. He needed to see his mom first.

* * *

The door wasn't locked and that made him frown. Everyone locked their door in this part of the city. He took a deep breath and slowly pushed it open. Past experience taught him never just to walk in; he'd witnessed enough of his mother's mood swings not to take anything for granted.

The living room was in chaos; the smell made his eyes water. The air was cold and it looked as though no one had been here for days. Cautiously he walked around the small room and took in his surroundings. The silence was unnerving. He'd never really let his guard down even in the army and away from his chaotic family. It paid to be cautious; he had learned that lesson over and over again.

Every sense was on high alert.

Carefully he opened the door to his mother's bedroom and tried not to wince at the devastation that greeted him. The bed was unmade, drawers were hanging drunkenly open, the contents vomited all over the floor. Had they been robbed? They had nothing worth stealing.

He froze when he saw her lying on the bed. She was so still, her skin so pale that for a brief, frightening moment he thought that she was dead.

"Ma?" it came out in a breathy rush as he went towards her.

She was cold to the touch but as he touched her neck, he felt a faint pulse, fluttering like a panicked bird against his fingertips.

"Mom?" he quickly checked her over, searching for any signs of injury. He couldn't see any blood and nothing looked as though it was broken. He then heard her groan faintly.

"Ma? Momma… its Bobby…everything's going to be okay…" he murmured to her. He looked around and then picked up a blanket from the floor and gently covered her with it. He needed to call an ambulance, get her checked out to make sure that she was indeed unhurt but he didn't want to leave her here alone.

"Hello? Anyone here?" Bobby's head snapped up when he heard a woman's voice. It was Evie's mother.

"Mrs Tyler?" he called. He looked down at his mother. He could see that she was slowly coming to.

"Bobby?" her voice was filled with surprise and presently she came into view. Bobby straightened up and Mary Tyler's eyes widened.

"It _is_ you. I thought I was imagining things"

"My mom…Mrs Tyler, my mom…" he watched her come into the room, trying to hide her shock at the conditions she was witnessing. He wanted to tell her that it was okay, he wasn't offended.

"What happened?" she breathed coming to stand beside him.

"I don't know…I just got back…"

"I'll call for an ambulance" she told him and turned and hurried out.

He sat down on the side of the bed as his mother's eyes opened. They fixed on his face and he watched them widen in horror.

"NO!" she screamed.

"Ma…you're going to be okay…" He leaned towards her.

"Haven't you done enough to me? Haven't you done enough to my family?" she yelled. Bobby swallowed and tried not to sigh too deeply. Obviously she hadn't been on her medication for a while.

"You were unconscious…I just found you. Can you sit up?" he went to help her but as he guessed, she batted his hands away.

"Don't you touch me! Bill will be home soon, he'll get rid of you!"

He had no idea who she was confusing him with this time. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Frances, Bobby just got back and found you like this…this is no way to be treating him" Mary chided her as she came into view. Frances quietened instantly but regarded her youngest child with suspicious eyes.

"Bobby's in Germany…"

"No…this is Bobby…he's come back to see you…look how smart he looks in his uniform…any mother would be proud" He stood up and took a step away, allowing Mary to go to his mother and help her to sit up.

"I don't understand…" she murmured.

"Frances…when was the last time you took your medicine?" she interrupted in a no nonsense tone. Frances tore her eyes from Bobby's face to look at her for a moment.

"Medication...I…" she shook her head and pulled agitated fingers through already unkempt hair. Bobby tried not to wince at the state of her; she hadn't been taking care of herself for a long time.

"Should I ask Frank?" This time Mary glanced at Bobby.

"Frank'll know…where…where is he?"

"Maybe he's gone for groceries" Bobby almost rolled his eyes; groceries would be the last thing on his elder brother's mind. It was all started to click together now. The upside down drawers, the clothes scattered everywhere. They hadn't been robbed in the literal sense but he'd put money on Frank looking for something to sell to feed his habit. The disgust made him nauseous. He turned and looked around the room with new eyes.

"I'll check the bathroom…maybe her meds are in there" he told Mary and he left the room.

He felt the familiar weight of depression take its usual place on his shoulders. He went into the small bathroom and tried not to gag at the smell. He went through the routine of searching the medicine cabinet. There was nothing there even remotely linked to his mother's medication. He did a quick sweep of the kitchen too…no surprise; there was nothing there either, not even a prescription. He sighed loudly.

"Bobby…" he spun around at Mary's voice.

"I called her people too…they're coming to see her, review her situation… they said that haven't seen her for three months" Her people were her psychiatrist, care worker, social worker…who were supposed to look after her while he was away.

"What happened?" he demanded, frustration and disappointment colouring his words.

"I'm so…so sorry about this…believe me; we didn't intend for this to happen but after Frank moved in…"

"Wait a minute…Frank _moved_ in?" Mary's eyes widened in surprise.

"You didn't know? He told us he'd been in touch with you and that you'd said it was okay…" she went pale.

"Oh no…"

"It's okay…it wasn't your fault" He slowly shook his head as he absorbed the information. _Frank _had been taking care of their mother?

"We haven't seen him for a few days…any time we tried to check in on your mom, he would tell us she was okay…and the one time Daniel tried to see her…well he…he… threatened him…told him not to come back" Bobby got the impression that wasn't the entire story but he let it go. Right now nothing would please him more than getting his hands on his brother himself.

"Where's my mom now?"

"She's lying down again Bobby…she doesn't want to go to the hospital"

"Well that's just tough because that's where she's going…" he moved past her and into the bedroom again.

Frances lay on the unmade bed. She was pale, shaken and ill. He could see that from where he stood. He took a deep breath and went inside.

"You didn't tell me that Frank was living here again" he began, keeping his tone as mild as possible. She turned her head and looked at him.

"You didn't ask…and he needed a place to stay"

"You have no medication left and I couldn't find your purse…you call that taking care of you?" he couldn't keep the anger out of his voice and her eyes sparked with familiar temper as she glared at him.

"What business is it of yours? You're… too busy travelling the world to care! Why don't you just go… away and travel the world some more…I don't need you, I never needed you!" she spat back.

"You'll never see Frank for what he is will you?"

"He's my _son_!" It almost exploded out of her. At the last minute he saw her reach for the empty water glass on her bedside table before ducking as it hurtled over his head to smash against the wall behind him.

He felt fury rage through his veins and he wasn't sure who the anger was really directed at, his brother, his mother or himself, who was responsible for all of this?

"Bill will be here soon and he won't be happy to see you here!"

His father hadn't visited in the last ten years. Bobby didn't even know where he lived. He wasn't going to remind her of that. Instead he swallowed down his anger and his feelings of utter helplessness.

"What happened to Evie coming to visit? What happened to you seeing the shrink?"

"Frank said I didn't need any of that" Frank again, he felt like screaming. He watched her struggle to sit up and move off the bed.

"Bobby, the paramedics are here" Bobby stiffened at Mary's voice and nodded the one time.

"Why did you do that? I don't need the doctor and I'm _not_ going to the hospital"

"For once ma, you're going to do what you're told" he all but growled back at her.

"Don't you talk to your mother like that!" she shot back.

"Oh, so you know who I am now do you?" he retorted and Frances fell silent but he could feel her contempt emanating off her in waves. Immediately he felt familiar guilt begin to overwhelm him. He shouldn't have reacted; shouldn't have shouted at his mother like that but damn it…_sometimes_ she brought out the worst in him.

* * *

There were a lot of people inside of the small apartment. Some were familiar faces from earlier times, others were new. He hung back and listened to them talk to her, try and placate her. He stood with his back against the wall; his arms tightly folded and listened to it all. He remembered a conversation that he'd had with Evie about all of this, of how his life would be ruled by his mother's illness. He took a deep breath and straightened up. The sudden movement attracted attention. He ignored it and strode out of the apartment. He stopped just outside of the open door and went to sit on the stairs. How many times had he done that in the past? His mind went back to Mrs Pastorelli and he wondered how she was. He sighed again and closed his eyes. He could hear his mom arguing. That was all that she ever did, argue argue and then argue some more. He tried to think of a time when she would laugh and smile instead but couldn't. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and sighed very shakily. He banked the anger that was perilously close to the surface. He knew that it would explode out of him at the first wrong word spoken to him and he struggled to push it back down into the deepest recesses of his mind. He dropped his hands when he heard her scream. It galvanised him and he rose to his feet and straightened his spine.

He strode through the apartment, through the press of bodies surrounding his mother and they moved out of the way. She sat on the edge of the mattress. He crouched down in front of her.

"Ma…" he reached out and took one hand, holding it between his own in an old and familiar gesture.

"No…no…" she groaned. He looked at her. She was a mess. The torment was visible to him. She needed to be taken care of, she was as thin as a bird, his mind skipped delicately around the issue of personal hygiene and she was jumpy, paranoid and defensive.

"Look at me ma" he instructed and eventually she did. He could feel her hand trembling and he tightened his hold very slightly. He tilted his head to one side as their eyes met and eventually held.

"These people aren't here to hurt you ma…they're here to help you…help you feel better" He didn't say get better, she'd been like this for so long that in his heart of hearts he knew that would never happen.

"Frank said…"

"Well Frank isn't here is he and…and I am and I promise I'll take care of you" he kept his voice soft, an old trick from past encounters like this one. He also remembered the frown of suspicion on her face too.

"I'm not leaving…you can't make me!" her voice rose defensively.

"You need to have your meds regulated, you need to rest and eat…" He saw fear flash across her face.

"Look, I'll come with you to the hospital…I won't leave you…" It was another promise.

"It's cold here…you can be warm…you can sleep…"

"You left me…" her voice was quiet, almost pathetic. He frowned.

"I left you? When?"

"You know when…you left me alone…how was I supposed to cope…he doesn't care, he goes out all day and he doesn't care about me…just leaves me here…the boys…"her voice lowered and was reduced to low mumbling. He frowned slightly. Was she talking about him or Frank or somebody completely different? Who knew these days? He shook his head slightly.

"Ma…come on…let's go" he reached for her arm, to help her to her feet.

"Let's go? Where?"

"The hospital" He watched her eyes widen in alarm.

"No…oh no, I'm not going there, they'll kill me…they know that I know and they'll kill me" she pulled her hand out of his and pushed against his arm.

"Ma…please…"

"I don't like it there…don't make me go…I won't go…." She argued. He swallowed and took a deep breath. He slipped his arm across her shoulders and folded his hand against the top of her bony shoulder.

"Come on…" and before she could immediately react, he all but lifted her to her feet. Once she was upright, her eyes widened and the whole room witnessed how she began to struggle harder. It was almost pathetic. He almost lost his grip on her and he had to contort to avoid flailing hands and fists. Her voice rose with her protestations as the paramedics surrounded her.

"Mom…its okay ma…" The words were futile. She didn't want to go into the hospital again, she may have been mentally unwell but she wasn't stupid.

"We've got it sir" one of the paramedics told him as his mother began to scream. Bobby swallowed against the threatening emotions, at the over riding feelings of guilt and devastation. However tall he grew to be, listening to his mother scream like the unhinged person she was upset him beyond measure. He felt old tears crowd the back of his eyes, felt that lump rise in his throat. It was then that he released his hold on her and took a step back, out of the melee.

"Bobby" he didn't need to turn his head when he heard Mary Tyler's soothing voice. She gently clasped his arm, rubbing it slowly. Weirdly enough, it soothed him. His face was stricken as his mother was manhandled and fastened into an upright kind of gurney cum wheelchair contraption and manoeuvred out of the apartment.

"Mr Goren, we need to speak to you about your mother's continuing care" He looked at the social worker and he knew that was what he had to do but right at this moment he was spent, beyond exhausted and he needed to be with his mother.

"Later…" he dismissed and left.

* * *

He decided to leave her when she was finally sleeping. She was clean, medicated and under careful observation and he stood by her bedside and just watched her. She'd be out for the count until the morning. He took a deep cleansing breath and straightened up to his full six feet four inches. He squared broad shoulders. He should leave. He was exhausted but too exhausted to sleep. That made no sense. Oh God, he was talking to himself now.

"Bobby?" He turned at the quietly spoken voice and his eyes widened when he saw Mary standing in the entrance.

"Mrs Tyler…what are you doing here?" he breathed in surprise. She walked towards him, clutching her purse in front of her tightly.

"How's your poor mother dear?" she enquired. Bobby looked back at the bed.

"Better for now. She's here for seventy two hours while they assess her" he replied and he frowned.

"What are you thinking?" he looked at her.

"That my joining the army was a stupid mistake. I…I can't leave my mom like this…she can't take care of herself… anymore…"he indicated her frail thin outline on the bed with one restless hand.

"And you're going to…leave and take care of her, is that it?" Mary's voice had a sharp tinge to it that made him pay attention.

"What else can I do?" he sighed in defeat. She surprised him further by taking his hand.

"We're going to talk" she informed him.

* * *

She refused his offer to pay for the coffee that was delivered to them. The coffee shop was around the corner from the hospital and close to empty at this time of night. Bobby hunched himself over it.

"Now then…" she began and he raised his head and looked at her.

"I remember when you told Daniel and I that you intended to join up and we listened to your reasons why. It was the right choice Bobby…Evie kept us up to date with where you were, what you were doing and all of that and we kept your mom up to date too. It suited you and it meant that you had a life of your own" she raised her hand when he opened his mouth to speak.

"You've got a sharp brain Bobby…what good will it do for you to waste it? You know that you would regret any decision to leave and you would resent it too"

"With respect Mrs Tyler, if I leave her with Frank…"

"Bobby…have you ever thought about…a residential hospital where your mother could stay long term?" He sat back, his frown returning.

"I can't afford that…"

"You don't know until you explore your options" He watched her open her purse and take out a slip of paper which she pushed across the table.

"Frances's social worker gave me these numbers. They're people you can talk to Bobby…about your mother's long term care…they're options that you can consider" He stared down at them and saw them blur. He blinked. Hard. He looked up at her again.

"Mrs Tyler…I…"

"I think it's time you called me Mary don't you think?" there was the slightest hint of a smile in her eyes. It made him think of Evie.

He drank his coffee and listened to her talk about the neighbourhood, about her only child of whom she was fiercely proud of, and her life with Daniel, her sane, _normal_ life. Evie was at another college but she'd be back at Christmas, if he was back in the city again. He smiled at the not so subtle hint.

He allowed her to fuss over him. It was a strange feeling after having been used to taking care of himself for so long. It was nice.

* * *

When the door opened automatically, he knew he'd found his brother. He pushed it open and stepped inside. The place was still a disaster area and he made a mental note to start tidying it up.

"Ma?" He stiffened when he heard Frank's voice and slowly turned around.

"Hey, when did you get back?" Frank appeared in the doorway from his mother's bedroom. He was thin, grimy and twitchy.

"Looking for something else to hock?" Bobby sneered and watched his elder brother straighten self consciously.

"What…what are you talking about?" he replied defensively. Bobby regarded him with open hostility and then strode towards him. He grabbed him by the front of his filthy shirt and propelled him backwards. His anger made him stronger than his brother and it showed. He slammed him up against the wall and held him pinned.

"You know what I'm talking about. For your…information…mom is in the hospital" he hissed, his face barely an inch away from his. He almost recoiled from the smell.

"She…she is?" Frank's eyes widened and Bobby could smell the fear emanating from him.

"You son of a …how could you treat her like this huh? She was barely conscious or lucid when I got here…she's our _mother_…." He slammed him up against the wall again.

"I can explain Bobby…" he wheedled but Bobby was past listening to his excuses. Instead he let go of him and watched how rapidly Frank backed away from him.

"There's nothing left here Frank…you've spent her money, you've probably sold everything of value that she had to feed your habit. When was the last time you even thought about mom never mind actually look after her?" his voice rose. He watched his brother's mouth open and close.

"You've never changed. You moved in with mom to steal from her, you chased away people who…genuinely cared for her…this is all your fault"

"My fault?" Frank exclaimed "You were the one who abandoned her…." His words faltered when Bobby frowned.

"Excuse me? I _abandoned_ her?"

"When you decided to play the hero and enlist…what were you trying to do? Make her care? She's so far gone Bobby, there's nothing you can or could've done…" Bobby straightened as each word brutally pierced his carefully constructed armour.

"So I should've stayed…and become more like you? Like dad, is that it?" he retaliated instead.

"Somebody has to take care of her man, I tried and I…I can't" Frank responded.

"You've never taken care of her…that would mean thinking about someone other than yourself" Bobby then shook his head. All of a sudden he was tired, so damned tired. He'd been back in the city for twenty four hours and it felt as though he'd never been away.

"I'm going to take care of her Frank. I'll take care of her in such a way that you'll _never_ take anything away from her again. She's away from you and that's what matters" The decision was surprisingly easy to make. He huffed out a loud sigh.

"Get out of here Frank…don't…just don't come back"

* * *

He managed to get his leave extended by a few days because of special circumstances and he used the time efficiently. He made visited his mother, made various enquiries and cleared out her apartment. By the time his leave was up, he'd managed to secure a bed for her at a residential hospital upstate called Carmel Ridge. He drove her up there himself and helped her to settle in. He gave strict instructions to the staff there that Frank Goren was not to be allowed to visit and he left the address of the hospital with the Tylers as they renewed their promise to keep an eye on her and to keep him updated.

He stood in the empty apartment and looked around at the bare walls. It had always looked empty and bare even with the few sticks of furniture they'd possessed. It had never been a home in the true sense of the word.

"Hey" His head turned when he heard her voice and he smiled when he recognised the person standing in the doorway.

"Evie…" she walked towards him.

"My mom called me…she told me that you'd gotten your mom…"

"Institutionalised…you can say it…" He saw the embarrassment in her eyes.

"I should've done it a long time ago" he confessed and she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay Evie…I know about Frank…about your transfer…"

"I should've made a better effort to stay in touch…mom said she'd help out with Frances…but…"

"I know and it's okay…you've got a life to lead too and …I appreciate that you took the time to help out when…when you didn't have to…" he placed a hesitant hand on her shoulder.

"What are you going to do now?" she asked. He sighed.

"My leave is just about up, I head out tonight. My mom is being taken care of"

Thanks to Mary Tyler. She didn't know how much she had saved him by doing what she did. He made a mental note to send her flowers come Mother's Day.

"How about I buy you lunch…" she suggested. It was on the tip of his tongue to refuse. He wanted to retreat and brood but the thought of spending his last few hours in the company of this beautiful girl was too tempting to ignore. He smiled instead.

"How about you do that?" he responded.


	2. Two

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* * *

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A/N: This is the concluding chapter to the 'Her Boy'/'His Promise' series. Apologies for the looong delay in posting this- health issues will do that. The characters of Bobby, Frank and Frances Goren belong to Dick Wolfe et al, Evie, any other original characters are my own. Errors too are mine...my grammar sometimes gets a bit on the crazy side. Please read and rate, i'd love to hear what you think. This is dedicated to those of you who have followed, read and reviewed my writing over the last couple of years. Thanks for keeping me sane.

* * *

Two:

He followed her into the café and the male part of him appreciated her female form. She was slender, on the verge of being skinny but she carried it well. Her blonde hair tumbled unadorned to her shoulders, flicking up at the ends. Her skin was clear and cosmetic free and her eyes were a beautiful summer blue. He remembered that her smile lit up her whole face, showing even white teeth. He felt the tug of attraction as they sat down at a vacant table.

He watched her face as they placed their lunch orders and as she turned her head to look at him, her obvious sweetness was a balm to his injured soul.

"I didn't expect to see you…your mom told me you'd transferred out…" To be truthful he was still surprised to see her sitting opposite him.

"I did…I'm sorry I didn't write to tell you" He shrugged his shoulders.

"It's okay…" he began

"No Bobby…it wasn't…I made a promise to you…and…I…didn't keep it"

"Evie…" his words halted when her hand shot across the small table to cover one of his.

"No Bobby""

"Evie" he repeated a little more forcefully. He paused and then took a deep breath.

"I'm starting to…realise…that other…_forces_…have been at work" He watched her expression tighten and realisation dawn.

"Frank" He inclined his head.

"Frank" he confirmed. He watched her face soften, regret clouding her lovely eyes.

"He said…he _told_ me that you had contacted him to ask that he take over your mom's care…God, I should've _realised_ … contacted you myself" she looked away and frowned deeply.

"Why didn't you?" She looked back at him.

"Because he said…" she paused again and once again her expression became pained.

"He told me that you had told _him_…that you didn't want to stay in touch any longer …said you didn't want to be reminded of the past because you were, and I quote 'going places'" she admitted. Bobby felt a brief but strong flare of anger directed towards his wayward elder brother.

"I didn't…he made all that up Evie…" She sighed.

"I understand that now…Bobby I'm so…"

"You don't need to apologise again…none of this is your fault"

"Then why do I feel so responsible? We let you down Bobby; people are always letting you down" He wanted to deny that little snippet of information but she was right, one way or another they always did.

He took a deep breath and straightened in his seat. Her hand still covered his and that felt…well it felt nice. He turned his hand over and captured her fingers through his. She glanced down at their joined digits but she didn't move them.

"I don't want to spend my last few hours in the city talking about my brother…or any of that…" he admitted huskily. A soft smile crept over her face.

"Neither do I" she agreed and he smiled at her.

* * *

He returned to the empty apartment and he felt warm inside. Lunch with Evie had been good; they had talked like never before and laughed and he had teased and God had he almost flirted with her? A faint flush of embarrassment curled in his stomach. Yes, he believe that he had a little bit but she'd responded, flirted right on back and in hindsight he wondered. He was deep in his thoughts and didn't see him waiting outside the door until the last minute.

"Robert" He automatically froze when he heard his tone. He almost always called him Robert. The two men stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Bobby deliberately relaxed. He should've expected this; he should've known Frank would pull a stunt like this.

"What do you want dad?" he couldn't keep the tiredness out of his voice for that was how he felt about this whole situation, so damned tired.

"Is that how you're going to talk to me now?"

"I don't know dad…how do you want me to talk to you?" he began to move again, towards the scarred wooden door, at the same time pulling the keys from his jacket pocket. William Goren watched him slot the key into the keyhole and open the door.

"With a little respect for a start" Bobby rolled his eyes and briefly, almost surreptitiously shook his head. He kept his mouth shut, swallowing down the retort that had almost sprung from his lips. It was a waste of time arguing with this man, they went around in circles, getting defensive and it just wasn't worth the hassle. He was shipping out again soon and wouldn't have to see him or put up with him and his brand of bullshit again, for a while anyway.

"Whatever" he muttered under his breath. He was aware of him following him inside.

"How have you been?" Bobby paused and slowly turned to face him.

"As you can see, I'm fine" he replied coolly. The older man regarded him.

"You look good. Army life suits you huh?" Bobby just stared at him. Then he huffed out a sigh.

"Yeah dad, it suits me fine" He folded his arms and tilted his head to one side.

"You just making a social call or is there something that you want?" he demanded. William frowned.

"Can't I visit my own son once in a while?"

"Yeah but it's usually to hit me up for a few bucks in the process…well I'm sorry but today you're out of luck, I'm broke" the last couple of days had seen to that. He turned, unfolding his arms and began to look for his duffle bag. He was sure he could find somewhere else to hang out until it was time to leave. Spending time with his dad, intentionally or not, almost always left him in a bad mood. He spied it across the room and went over to retrieve it.

"I talked to Frank"

Bobby took his time. He picked up his duffle bag and slung it across his shoulder before turning to face his dad. Here it was, the real reason for the visit.

"I guessed as much"

"He's upset"

"Why? Is it because he won't be able to steal her money anymore? Is he upset that I've spoiled his fun?" he enquired waspishly. He then took a deep breath. Poison, it was pure poison being here.

"Mom is safe, she's getting help and he will not destroy that" He straightened up. He was a good three inches taller than his father and he took advantage of that. He was past feeling intimidated by him, past hoping for a scrap of attention from this man. Over time he'd slowly realised that whatever he did, whatever he achieved, it didn't get him what he'd ultimately wanted so he stopped trying.

"You won't destroy that" he tacked on and watched the anger flare in the other man's eyes.

"Don't you dare…"

"Dare to do what dad? Talk to you like an adult? Care about what happens to my mother? You don't, he doesn't…she's sick, he took advantage of that…you knew how sick and you took off, so what does that make you huh?" William took a step towards Bobby but faltered when the boy didn't move back as he expected him to. Instead Bobby walked towards him.

"You can't push me around anymore dad. You don't scare me. You can say what you want, threaten all you want and you can turn on that _charm_ all you want…it won't work with me anymore… because I just don't care" he informed him in a low but lethal voice. They stared at each other, fists clenched. It was William who blinked first.

"You're nothing like me" William growled out eventually. Bobby forced himself to relax. He slowly unclenched his fists. He almost smiled.

"Well thank God for that" he answered softly.

* * *

_You're nothing like me…_

Those words echoed around Detective Robert Goren's mind as he stared down at the sleeping face cradled in his hands. No truer words had been spoken. He wondered whether his father had known back then, whether he'd had his suspicions.

His mother had confessed that she hadn't been sure of his paternity on her death bed and he had watched her fade away whilst new demons battled with the old inside of him.

The results of his paternity test had been a vicious blow but at the same time he hadn't been surprised. Why would this be any different? A serial killer, multiple rapist had fathered him, why should life be any kinder to him because his mother hadn't been sure? It was par for the course for him.

He looked down again. That was the past. Evie had told him over and over again that who his father was, didn't automatically make him who he was, that was something he'd achieved all by himself.

Maybe, subconsciously, he'd seen the warning signs. The circumstances of his birth, his childhood, his adolescence, had been horrible, even cruel. He'd had a mother trapped in the overwhelming miasma of her illness and a father, whom he'd _believed_ to be his father, showing him almost total indifference unless he didn't get out of his way quick enough that was. Maybe it was his determination that had propelled him to become the man he was today because the alternative was just too…terrifying to think about.

He stared down at the innocent face. He'd lost his trust in promises but this little soul in his arms trusted him and that was a daunting thought. What if he let him down?

He swallowed and frowned deeply.

"Bobby…" he lifted his head when she heard him whisper his name.

"Go back to sleep, we're fine here" he whispered back. She smiled sleepily.

"You'll be fine…_he'll_ be fine" she reminded him and he wondered how she was able to do that?

Read his mind like that.

He didn't think that he was an open book.

He turned his head and looked at her. Somehow they had lost contact in the intervening years of army and college life and hadn't reconnected until one evening, emerging from 1PP; he'd been so lost in his thoughts that he had literally knocked her off her feet. It had almost felt like fate. Now they were married. Now they were parents and now he was terrified that he would turn out like him, or worse still, like _her_.

The fear sparkled through him.

"Bobby" she whispered again. She was right beside him now; he could smell the gentle scent of her perfume. He watched as she scooped their son out of his arms and laid him back in his crib. She straightened and then looked at him. She held out her hand and he looked at it. It spoke to him of promise and potential and a future worth pursuing.

"Come back to bed" she invited. He took a deep breath and gently exhaled.

Trust was a wonderful thing. Promises too maybe…one day…

He took it.

**FIN.**


End file.
